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I am Mike Wilkes and I
have been a mentor with Mentor Link since 2004. I retired from
the Police Force after 32 yrs service and live in Stourport upon
Severn with my wife, Lyn and have two grown-up children living
in Hereford . I first heard about Mentor Link from Marion, a
fellow student on a computer course in Stourport,
Worcestershire. She was a mentor and suggested that if I was
considering doing some sort of charity work, which I was, then I
should think about mentoring. I completed the computer course
(just) and worked out that apart from travelling, gardening and
reducing my golf handicap I had some spare time to fill.
I spoke to Andrea Maddocks who started Mentor
Link and she explained what it was all about. It sounded a very
good and worthwhile scheme and was flexible in the time and
commitment involved and therefore I thought I try it I began
mentoring at Bewdley High School in September 2004.
I started seeing two 13/14 yr old boys on a
Wednesday morning for ½ hour each. These were confidential
individual sessions and we talked about all aspects of their
lives both in and out of school. After a few weeks a third and a
fourth boy were included and in 2005 I started mentoring at
Birchen Coppice Middle (Junior) School, Kidderminster on
Mondays.
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Does mentoring work? It can do for some and
having time to listen and talk on a one to one basis can be
helpful and supportive. Not everyone responds and shows
improvement, but mentoring is not a short-term solution.
Improvement can include anything from
improving reading, completing homework, reducing absenteeism or
detentions to not swearing at parents or teachers, stopping
smoking and enjoying school more. I was amused and pleased to
see one comment from a teacher when asked “Have you noticed any
particular change in attitude or behaviour since he began seeing
a mentor”? He replied, “ Yes definitely, he has stopped calling
me a …………… idiot”.
Why do I do mentoring? I find it interesting,
useful and rewarding. Interesting to talk and listen to young
people about their problems. Useful and rewarding to see
improvement and to hear from others that it can make a
difference.
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I have been a Mentor for the past 18 months. The issues have
been varied; every scenario you can imagine and more. My role
has been to listen and be non-judgemental, discuss attitudes and
dispositions within a student’s social environment and the
importance of learning to help develop their full potential. I
have “first hand” experience with some of the issues; so been
there, done that, got the t-shirt is somewhat very apt.
Apologies for the cliché.
I strive to promote respect for themselves and others and
provide strategies/activities to channel emotions and disruptive
behaviour. I find the experience as a Mentor, both challenging
and rewarding and look forward to meeting my students each week.
Our meetings are a two-way exchange, fundamental when forming a
friendship.
Josie Mills – Volunteer Mentor at Baxter College
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Being a mentor has been a most interesting experience. It has
given me an opportunity to meet with young people and understand
their interests, worries and ambitions. Hopefully, pupils I work
with gain something from our meetings. I’ve always believed
talking and listening are invaluable ways of coping. Mentor Link
as an organisation is very supportive and keeps me going through
all the ups and downs of being a mentor.
Diana Sutherland – Volunteer Mentor at Baxter
College, Kidderminster
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Clifford Byrne pupil at Birchen
Coppice Primary School in Kidderminster and Julie Best (Mentor)
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One of our Mentors - Julie Best who works at
Birchen Coppice Primary School has encouraged a pupil Clifford
Byrne to write a story on an imaginary holiday to Spain.
Clifford has never been on a foreign holiday and wrote, “ the
one thing I liked best was the oranges growing on the trees,
they only grow in warm places and I’ve always wanted to see
this. When we got home my mom was excited to see me, she asked
me how it was, I said it was terrific.” Julie Best writes ,
Clifford has a wonderful imagination and has never experienced a
foreign holiday he wrote this over three weeks with only a short
discussion before. I hope he enjoyed our time together as much
as I did. |
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We have many success stories from mentoring and recently we
have had a very positive result from Baxter College. Volunteer
mentor Cliff Tonks has been supporting a lad who was presenting
some challenges to the teaching staff. Over the months Cliff and
P talked about the problems in school and at home. The
Head of Year 11 at the school wrote, “P had received a
final warning about his behaviour prior to permanent exclusion
for all manner of incidents. As a part of his inclusion package,
P was offered alternative curriculum, off site provision,
reduced timetable, time out and mentoring. The mentor Cliff
Tonks made communication with me to formulate the best plan of
action for P and also fed back to me on a regular basis. I know
how much value he has placed on having such a good mentor and
how he has been able to voice his personal concerns about school
and home life. Without all these things in place I have no doubt
that he would not have stayed in full time education and would
not have even considered post 16 options. With guidance from his
mentor and help from Connexions he is now looking at a college
course in mechanics. I believe strongly that the work of
mentor link is an invaluable resource for students like him.
P wrote, “School was somewhere to play up. I
wouldn’t be in school now if I hadn’t met Cliff. Where before I
would have given a teacher a load of mouth, now I just walk
away.
With Cliff’s help, I’m now following my dream of becoming a car
mechanic and not going for a dead-end delivery job. Cliff
introduced me to Karen, the Connexions lady. She’s helping me
with my CV and filling in forms for grants and stuff. Cliff’s
helping me with interview techniques, which is great. Having a
Mentor has made a big difference to me.” |
Cliff wrote……
I enjoyed meeting with P. We established a good rapport from the
outset, probably from our mutual interest in football. He has a
great personality, and he always listened when we discussed
different ways to approach situations that had created
difficulties for him on previous occasions. However my real
reward was to hear from P that our meetings had helped to
stabilise his last few months at Baxter College, to sit his
exams, and then to continue with his full time education at
Bromsgrove. I wish him well for the future.
Well done Cliff

Cliff Tonks
Volunteer Mentor, Baxter College.
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Stephen Craner
Volunteer Mentor at Ipsley
Middle School in Redditch
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I started Mentoring early this year (2008).
I have thoroughly enjoyed this role. I have found it very
rewarding. I find it a pleasure to help the youngsters of today
just by talking and interacting with them. I believe it is
fantastic that children in schools have Mentor Link available to
them. School can be a tough time for children where they often
find it difficult to deal with certain issues and situations. I
really enjoy being apart of it, offering advice and guidance or
just someone they can talk to who won't judge them. |
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I
started over two years ago. It was time to put something back
and re-engage with the world in a new way. As an accountant the
contrast could not have been more stark. From the boardroom to
classroom.
I
have children and grandchildren so dealing with difficult boys
was nothing new except previously it was in the role of a dad.
Well I’ll let you into a secret, there is not much difference.
There are so many boys today living without a male role model.
To many a twelve year old boy with no father figure, the world
is dominated by women.
I
have now mentored five boys. Each has been different and
rewarding in his own way. Without breaching confidentially I
hope, here briefly is each of their stories:
- M
was my first. His dad had just left home and he felt he needed
to be “man of the house” to his mum and sisters. His school work
had deteriorated and he was troublesome in class. As he improved
it transpired he was a talented young actor with a leading role
in the school play. Mentoring sessions became rehearsals. I went
to see him in his play where he performed well and has never
looked back since.
- D
was a boy with many problems. He was being bullied and felt
quite a social misfit in the school. Seeing me was an escape
from the playground where he could talk and talk. I listened and
listened.
- J
has been my biggest
challenge. He is an intelligent boy with a flair for maths but
poor communication. He has been in fights and in trouble with
the police. I introduced him to the game of rugby. He now plays
second row for Redditch
under thirteen’s. He has been named man of the match twice and
as his game improves so does his behaviour.
- D
has an eating disorder and can be disruptive in class. We had
long discussions on how it might be handled including relaxation
techniques. We became good friends and talked a lot about
football. We were both sad when he moved on to another school.
- T
has cerebral palsy and is largely confined to a wheel chair. He
is quite sanguine about his problems and loves to talk. Our
latest topic is famous battles. We always end each session with
a song.
To
what degree I have been able to help these boys is hard to say.
At the end of each session I always ask if they want to meet
again. So far all have always said yes and claim to enjoy the
meeting. I can ask for no more. To catch a glimpse of these
lads’ lives, to gain their friendship and trust and see into the
workings of a modern school is my reward.
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George Cochrane
Mentor Link Volunteer –
Redditch
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